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The Malabar Wedding Diaries – Part V: Wedding Day
6:54:00 pm
And we now come to the final post of
the Malabar Wedding Diaries!! This is the actual wedding day, when the main
events in joining two people in matrimony take place.
In Malabar Muslim weddings, the bride
carries no hallmark expected of a traditional Indian wedded woman – no wedding
ring, no mangalsutra, no sindoor - nothing at all to show the
world that she is now someone’s wife. I can’t tell you how much confusion this
has created while I was working in Bangalore
However, there is the practice of Mahr or dowry paid by the groom to the
bride which is mostly in gold. You can read
more about it here.
The main event in Malabar Muslim
weddings is the Nikaah or the solemnization of the marriage. Traditionally, the
Nikaah takes place either at the bride’s home, or the mosque though nowadays it
is held at a Kalyana Mandapam or
wedding hall if that’s how the family has planned it.
There aren’t too many rituals per se,
but there is quite a bit of travelling (and of course, food) involved. Here are
the wedding events, in order of their occurrence :-).
1. Dress
up – Obviously, the first step :-). Everyone dresses up and there is quite
a lot of noise and lots of ‘make up-y’ smells floating around :-). There might
or might not be a beautician to attend to all the ladies of the family. Here is
a peek into what my sis and I wore for the wedding. Details of our outfits are
mentioned here.
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| My Saree |
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My Sister's Lehenga
|
We also wore our ‘Sister of the Groom’
badges with pride :-).
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Little
girl lost among the hustle bustle
|
2. Thedal – This is only relevant if the Nikaah is at the bride’s home. Her
brothers or other male relatives go the groom’s home and pick him up. They are
usually served drinks and snacks there. (And this is just the beginning :-))
Else, both parties reach the auditorium by themselves, in decorated cars. If
held in an auditorium, the stage is also decorated.
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| Groom leaving for the venue |
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| Bride entering the Venue |
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| The stage is set |
3. Nikaah
– A priest or Maulvi presides over
the Nikaah function. He gives a short speech about the holy bond of matrimony
and says a Dua or short prayer after which he performs the
Nikaah.
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| Everyone Prays for the New Couple |
The groom holds hands with the bride’s
father (yes, you read that right, her father)
and they repeat the verses that the priest recites. Then the groom hands over
the Mahr and signs the marriage
register. This completes the official part of the wedding.
If being held at home, the groom
usually leaves for the bride’s place after lunch. In an auditorium, the Nikaah
is usually held before lunch.
3. Veettil koodal – We know that the
groom shifts residence to the bride’s home. So this is the ritual where the
bride’s mother officially welcomes the groom home. After the Nikaah and lunch,
the bride and her family leave for her house and prepare to receive the groom.
A little later, the groom and the male members of his family go over there.
They are fed drinks and snacks (appangal)
as described in my previous post.
The groom and bride are then ushered
into the maniyara where they’re
offered a glass of milk by the bride’s mother, which they share. Then the groom
drops a gold coin into the remaining milk in the glass, which is meant as a
gift for his new mother-in-law. Yes, she has to fish it out :-).
Lots of singing and photography ensues
after which the groom and his male relatives leave and return to his home.
4. Chamiyikkal – Once the groom is back at his home, his female relatives take
off to the bride’s house along with the wedding outfit they’ve got for her. Here
is a picture of the outfit we got my brother’s bride. Sorry about the clarity, I
clicked it in a hurry.
It’s a pink long top with side slits,
worn on a white fish cut skirt.
They are again received at the bride’s
house with drinks and snacks while the groom’s sisters or a couple of cousins
go up to the bride’s room and help her with her new outfit. Everything put on
is new – flowers, make up and footwear. More photos are taken, and then the
bride along with all the ladies of her family and the groom’s family leave for the
groom’s house.
5. Welcoming
the bride – The bride is welcomed into her husband’s home with a lot of
fanfare. Crackers are burst and she is sprinkled with flowers/confetti/rose
water etc. while the ladies sing songs (Maapila
paattu). For my brother’s wedding, we made a ‘Here comes the Bride’ sign
for the occasion and had Cub hold it while we ushered the bride in.
She is seated with her husband,
(who has changed into a new suit of clothes), and is given a drink. The other ladies
who’ve accompanied her are also welcomed with drinks and snacks. (I know, you’re
probably wondering how much snacking goes on during the wedding, in addition to
lunch).
This is usually the time for some fun
and pranks. Some brides are given drinks with salt instead of sugar and some
are made to sing songs. Sometimes a wedding cake is cut and fed to the
guests (what, food again??).
There is more photo-taking in store,
during which the visitors gradually leave. By the time darkness falls,
there is just the immediate family left at home and maybe a few close relatives.
The bride changes out of her wedding outfit into something a little simpler and
more comfortable after a long day of heavy clothes. She is then gifted gold jewelry by her husband’s parents, sisters and
brothers’ wives. (Ha!! And you thought the wedding was only about food :-))
During this time, at their end, the
bride’s family is preparing for the arrival of the new couple by cleaning the
house and getting a grand dinner spread ready. A little towards dinner time,
her brothers/uncles come to pick up the new couple and take them home. They
leave with the petti as described here. Sometimes, a few friends of the
groom may accompany him for dinner.
That is the end of a hectic Malabar
Muslim wedding day. I’m guessing just reading about all that travel and food is making you feel tired and full :-D. I did warn you that food played a
starring role here!!
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| OMG! I didn't realize there were going to be so many snacks!! |
As we come to the end of the series, I
hope you guys enjoyed this glimpse into Malabar Muslim culture. If you get a
chance to attend such a wedding, please do so, you’ll come back with full
tummies and hearts :-). Thank you guys for reading such a long post, please let
me know what you think of the whole series!!
P.S. – All the photographs you see here
are from my brother’s wedding. If there are terms that you don’t understand, you
may refer to my previous posts in the series.
Other posts in the Malabar Wedding Diaries series:
6 comments
fabi.. nice saree ...
ReplyDeleteu looks amazing and ur little one too........
Thank you, Shermin :-)
DeleteEnjoyed this post..a slice of culture and gorgeous outfits!! I love your saree :-)
ReplyDeleteK
Thank you Kalyani!!
Deletethese r truly fab pics fab :) !
ReplyDeleteRecently my brothers wedding got over and enjoyed every detail of this post
may god bless the couple
I honestly think we have way more fun at our brothers' and sisters' weddings than our own!! Thank you for reading through, Afshan!!
Delete