Today’s letter
for the AtoZ Blogging Challenge is ‘L’ for my theme ‘A to Z of Effectiveness’.
You can read more about my theme here. I’m also participating in the NaBloPoMo
for April.
Source |
In today’s world, a lot of emphasis is put on the way you come across,
the way you speak, smile and look. This is what Stephen Covey refers to as the ‘Personality
Ethic’ in his book, ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’. A good part of
propagating this ethic is with expression, mainly speaking, which is one of the
four major forms of communication, the other three being reading, writing and
listening.
There are many courses out there that help you write better and speak
better, and of course, we learn reading right from our toddler years. But what
about listening? Apparently our education system and the modern world in
general do not think much of just shutting up and listening!
But Stephen Covey does. In his book, he stresses on interdependence as
the ultimate goal, for which effective communication is crucial. And what good
is communication when one does not know how to listen? The book also stresses
on a particular kind of listening (who knew there were multiple kinds!), called
Empathic Listening. As you can guess, it has to do with empathy.
Often, when someone talks about their troubles, we respond with our
experience of a similar situation and offer an appropriate solution. That isn’t
empathy; it’s sympathy. To be empathetic, we need to ‘listen to understand’
rather than listen with the purpose of formulating a reply.
Imagine talking to a person when you are troubled and this person listens
intently; and when he does respond, you get the idea that he’s been inside your
head and understands your position very well. How comforting would that be? Any
advice coming from such a person would feel a lot more reliable and at the very
least, you get an objective view of things. So the next time someone wants to
talk to you, forget about what you’ll say; just zip your lips and
listen!
Going
by the definition of empathic listening, would you consider yourself a good
listener? Or do you know anyone who is?
4 comments
Wise advice! Not easy to do, at least at times... but a good listener is worth their weight in gold.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more!! Listening is so underestimated!
DeleteListening might be a dying art. Everyone is in too much of a hurry to really appreciate what someone else is saying. Good post.
ReplyDeleteThank you Francene!! Very true, everyone's short of time these days!
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