Today’s letter
for the AtoZ Blogging Challenge is ‘T’ for my theme ‘A to Z of Effectiveness’.
You can read more about my theme here. I’m also participating in the NaBloPoMo
for April.
Source |
There have been many times when I get angry with my six year old for
something he’s done, and then I say something which makes me stop in my tracks
and think: “Oh my God, that’s what my Mom says!!”
I’m sure this isn’t an experience exclusive to me and most people probably find their parents’ words coming out of their mouths! It’s natural
enough; we involuntarily imitate a lot of our parents’ behavioral patterns – no
biggie there!
But for kids who’ve been abused by their parents, it is a big deal. Research
finds that majority of abused or neglected kids grow up to exhibit the same kind
of behavior in their adult lives. That’s what happens if nothing is proactively done to change their behavior and this is exactly what Stephen Covey means by
becoming a ‘transition person’. In his book, ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
People’, he says that we can make an effort to change this kind of negative
pattern and empower ourselves to bring about a positive transition. This is
also a great example of making your behavior a part of the circle of influence
by taking it into your own hands.
As one can imagine, this is certainly not easy, which explains the
research results. However, there are also several instances of abused people
who go on to become activists against the kind of violence they were subject
to. These people are true ‘transition people’ – people who break free from what
appears to be the natural progression of things. They exhibit such immense
strength to break the vicious cycle that is simply awe-inspiring!!
Do
you consider yourself a transition person? Has it been an easy journey?
11 comments
That's what I believe in, parents' behavioral pattern affect child's thinking and habits greatly. And those despite all these, have a sense of right and wrong becomes 'transition people' :)
ReplyDeleteI loved the topic you came up with.
Glad you liked the post, Simran!
DeleteThat's what I believe in, parents' behavioral pattern affect child's thinking and habits greatly. And those despite all these, have a sense of right and wrong becomes 'transition people' :)
ReplyDeleteI loved the topic you came up with.
Yes, we do tend to echo our parents, but we can overcome this if we are conscious of it.
ReplyDeleteExactly! Sometimes we exhibit the behavior for a while before we become aware of it!
Deletegreat quote and thoughts - break the bad habit cycle!
ReplyDeletei also liked the quadrants post! happy a to z-ing!
Thank you Tara!! I am enjoying the A to Z :)
DeleteVisiting from A/Z. I do admire those that can break the cycle from how they were raised and choose and work hard to raise their children differently than they were raised. Hubby and brother were abused a lot by their parents growing up; the parents later apologized for their actions, but it affected hubby's brother so much he chose not to have children because he didn't want to parent like that and he was afraid he might be abusive because of his up bringing. Hubby chose to parent and then had to make the conscious effort to make sure he didn't slip into the type of behavior his parents had exhibited in raising him. So I guess that would make him a transition person.
ReplyDeletebetty
Your brother-in-law's fear is completely understandable, and I'm sure he put a lot of thought into his decision. Your husband deserves kudos for breaking the cycle; it is no mean feat. Yes, he's a perfect example of a transition person; and an inspiration too!
DeleteBreaking a habit is not an easy thing to do. I too have stopped in my tracks and thought to myself OMG I sound just like my mom.
ReplyDeleteDropping by from the A to Z
Suzy at Someday Somewhere
It certainly isn't!!! Even more so when we're fighting against something that's ingrained in our psyche.
Delete