“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is
acceptance.” - Nathaniel Branden
Awareness – ‘having
knowledge of’. True, you need to know enough about something before you start
to do something about it.
But consider this –
You are not in the least bit aware of the strange things that are happening to
your body right now. You are scared, and you’re not sure how to seek comfort.
You are even embarrassed, since ‘good girls’ don’t talk about what happens
‘down there’. You’re a woman; shut up and deal with it.
And there ends the
first step towards change. Change towards a healthy, confident and self
respecting life.
Image Source: here
Is this what
protecting the privacy of women’s intimate health is supposed to do? Submerge
them under the dark sea of ‘embarrassment’? Of course, I don’t think it is
necessary to announce your period from the rooftops but I do consider it vital to
have an open discussion of these things, especially when the health of half the
population is at stake. In my opinion, women’s intimate health issues need to
be given priority at the governing levels and at all institutions, and we
desperately need to get rid of myths of the kind that regard menstruation as dirty
or impure.
Women’s intimate
health could cover a variety of topics: from the onset of puberty to
birth control and reproductive health all the way to menopause. At every step
of the way, a woman is haunted by lack of knowledge, support and the tools required to
take control of her own body.
A number of
studies, conducted by UNICEF, WHO and the Indian government have shown the lack
of toilets to be the main reason for girls dropping out of school. Those who do
stay back cut classes for about a week every month, leading to lower academic
performance.
Obviously, there
are people who think talking about girls’ having periods in public is way too
blasphemous, so then talking about building them functioning toilets? Shush,
shush.
These people need
to be informed that periods aren’t exactly a curse sent from above. It is a
normal part of a woman’s reproductive life and something that just needs extra
care.
Now, girls tend to
run to their mothers/other females for advice or support regarding intimate
issues. This doesn’t necessarily have to be seen as regressive and there are a
number of reasons this works:
a. Children are generally closer to their Moms
b. This is 100% a female experience
c. Talking to other men about personal
matters might open up doors to potentially dangerous situations
Check out this
excerpt from UNICEF’s India
Image Source: here
See the figures for
females? Nearly half of that of males. From the looks of it, this intimacy
thing isn’t helping our daughters.
Then we have the
whole saga of birth control and antenatal/postnatal care. This, at least, gets
a lot of press and there is much more awareness now and it is not as much a
taboo topic today as in the past. One reason could be because two lives are
involved – the mother’s and the child’s. Somehow in our country, people seem
more comfortable discussing birth and pregnancy than menstrual or vaginal care.
Maybe this has something to do with how Indians think of the ‘Mother’ as a
goddess and the ‘Woman’ as dirt. Double standards, anyone??
Of all issues, I
think menopause is the one that gets the least attention, partly because the
women involved, the 40-50 age group, are the most reluctant to discuss
their intimate matters. Menopausal women go through a lot of uncomfortable
changes and they need all the support and care they can get from their
husbands, children and others. But how will the family even know that the woman
in their life is suffering if she herself is too embarrassed to talk about it?
Image Source: here
So I iterate: while
I do not think the whole extended family needs to sit at the table brainstorming
ways to ease their teenager’s painful periods, she needs to know what is normal
and what is not, and whom to turn to in the latter case. She needs to know that
her body is a most wonderful thing and everything it does has a rhyme and
reason and nothing about it needs to evoke shame or embarrassment.
“there's nothing
more intimate in life than simply being understood. And understanding someone
else.” ― Brad Meltzer, The Inner Circle
12 comments
I think we Indians as a society place too much undue importance on sex and that is why even though body parts, health issues, reproductive knowledge should be topics of discussion they are relegated to just some hushed conversations and probably why boys grow up to have such a skewed view of girls.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more, Swapna!! The very reason sex education is so important for both boys and girls.
DeleteBrilliant post, Fab!! I can already see your entry amongst the winners :)
ReplyDeleteI agree on everything you said, I was thinking of writing a post myself but you have covered all of my ideas and opinions on the topic and in the most beautiful manner. It couldn't have been written any better :)
Aww...Swarnali, you are too kind!! Please do write a post too, I'd love to read it!! It's really interesting to read everyone's take on an issue like this.
DeleteBrilliantly written, Fabida. I never can understand why we are so secretive about issues that women face. I love this line of yours: She needs to know that her body is a most wonderful thing and everything it does has a rhyme and reason and nothing about it needs to evoke shame or embarrassment.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Corinne! I suppose all this need to be secretive comes from centuries of patriarchal opression.
DeleteAgree, agree and agree. The scenario is changing yet, a lot of education is needed in this regard to change for the better.
ReplyDeleteVery true, Janu. Wish rural women saw a faster rate of change.
DeleteKerala Govt. introduced couselling groups in every school, you can't even imagine the kind of horrific stories abot rape and abuse the counsellers have to tell after their interaction with the kids. Children, ie. girls feel much more comfortable talking to their teachers than their own parents, cause parents love to live a life of denial rather than supporting their own kids.
ReplyDeleteWell, it actually kinds of depends on the kind of teachers too. Kerala opposed the sex education thing to such an extent, one would wonder what the problem was. And this from a state which is known for its 'Roadside Romeos'.
Deletegood writeup Fab, I do agree, from grannies to our moms, and probably to us, as well, we tend to just sideline these, with the "keep calm and carry on" policy... A woman is the one who goes through the most physically, right from puberty to baby making, through mommyhood, and then we tend to get so busy doing stuff for everyone else in our life, that we probably dont even think, and ponder, almost super-human-ish! Came here via blogadda, stay in touch!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, Poonam!! You're right, our bodies need more care than anything and they end up being neglected the most. We honestly don't know our own worth.
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