Besharam!

5:55:00 pm


So the Delhi Besharmi Morcha has ended. It was India’s version of the global reply to the taunt of a police officer in Toronto who said that women should stop dressing like sluts if they didn’t want to be eve teased. 
Well, well, one MCP dares say that in Toronto and all women are up in arms. Here, we have everyone from authorities to strangers to elders in the family telling us the same thing; only they leave out the word ‘slut’. Probably why the Indian morcha left it out too.

We have guys cat calling and wolf whistling and worse day after day at us fully dressed women, and what do we do? We bow our heads in shame and just walk by in silence. Why? Because hum besharam nahin hain. We are not shameless. We are ashamed of ourselves. How could we have attracted those guys? Maybe we should change our route to college/work/school tomorrow. Maybe I should wear a longer kurta with my jeans. Maybe I should lower my eyes so that I cannot see beyond the tips of my toes.

Yes, we have to make all the changes. The guys can still sit on the wall and continue. No one’s going to push them off. The police? Oh give me a break. They have lots more serious cases to work on (read: distort facts/’lose’ evidence/harass witnesses).

During my college days, the inmates of the girls’ hostel had a curfew time of 6:00 p.m. and the guys…..well, they didn’t have a curfew. That obviously wasn’t enough for them. So, they got onto their terrace and started whistling and yelling out to the girls who were having a walk in the hostel gardens. So, authorities made our compound wall higher. Then we started hanging out on our terrace to enjoy the fresh air and watch the birds flying freely. But then it was closer to the guys’ terrace, a fact which was taken full advantage of by them. That resulted in a ban from frequenting the terrace for us. Always us. Never them. 

We did protest, of course. We weren’t going to let it go without a fight. But everything fell on deaf ears. “It’s for your own protection” was the answer all the time. But what we actually wanted was justice. They were the perpetrators, why weren’t they taken to task? Even today, the injustice of that makes my blood boil.

Images Courtesy: ibnlive


Just shows how long a way the Indian public (man) has to go. I really doubt how much a walk like this will help to that end, but maybe someone somewhere in a position of power will sit up and take notice. If there is someone like that out there (who also reads my blog :-)), here are a few suggestions from me:

  1. Educate all children – girls and boys – right from a young age that you CANNOT pass lewd comments at passing girls/women. They should be told that eve teasing now comes under ‘Crime against Women’.
    1. IPC Section 298 (A) and (B) sentences an eve teaser for a maximum of 3 months.
    2. IPC Section 292 sentences someone who shows obscene material to women to two years imprisonment and a fine of Rs 2000.
    3. IPC Section 509 sentences obscene body language to imprisonment of one year and/or a fine.
Learning a law in its entirety makes it more real to common people.

  1. Have plain clothes policemen around all school/college areas to pounce upon local ‘roadside romeos’ (hate that term).
  1. Ensure a government initiated supply of pepper spray to all girls over the age of 16 and educate them to use it on guys who harass them in any way.
  1. This is the most important: Change the attitude of the police. They have to give sexual harassment a very high priority, because the delay will only complicate matters and let the harasser walk away free. Also, a little more sensitivity on the part of the police in such matters would be helpful.
Have you got any more to add so that we can walk in peace anywhere (and not just in a slutwalk)? Please do!!

Welcome! I am Fab - work from home Mom and lover of good books, chocolate, music and movies (not in that order!). In my free time, you'll find me here, talking about everything under the sun!

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13 comments

  1. Tanvi1 August 2011 at 01:36

    Discrimination in our country is a deep rooted problem ... It will take a long time before it get sorted!!!
    ♡ from © tanvii.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kalyani1 August 2011 at 06:42

    Very very well said! The first point you made is so important ..the education should begin at home!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Prateek Bagri1 August 2011 at 17:39

    Male driven societies. *Sigh*
    SlutWalk at Delhi was colder than than in Bhopal. Not enough participants. *More Sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  4. beingFab1 August 2011 at 20:27

    @Tanvi
    Sad, but true...it really needs to be weeded out by the roots. But then, easier said than done :-(

    ReplyDelete
  5. beingFab1 August 2011 at 20:30

    @Kalyani
    Yes, Kalyani, only then will the guys know what they shouldn't do, and even if they do it, the girls'll know how to handle them :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. beingFab1 August 2011 at 20:35

    @Prateek
    Hmm...sad. Postponing the event probably killed some of the fire.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Alka Gurha2 August 2011 at 18:14

    Personally a morcha will only create awareness but only education can change thought processes...A fully covered Hina Rabbani was also called by TOI...

    Thank you for visiting Freebird.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My Unfinished Life2 August 2011 at 21:23

    well, its the mindset that needs to change...and going by the toronto police guy's comment....its just not an indian mentality!!!.....its a global disease...only some places its more rooted to the society...like ours...

    ReplyDelete
  9. For The Love Of Fashion And Other Things3 August 2011 at 01:51

    Its not really as simple as organizing a walk and weeding out the problem, me thinks! It needs to start from the grass root levels otherwise such walks are going to be just a glossing over of the situation.
    XX

    http://fortheloveoffashionandotherthings.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. beingFab3 August 2011 at 22:17

    @shooting star
    Yes, it does seem to be a global problem...only we're so used to hearing stuff like that everyday, we never thought it was worth a morcha till someone else reminded us of it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. beingFab3 August 2011 at 22:18

    @A Lot Like Fashion
    Its got to start from a basic level, that's true; this is where education comes into the picture.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Swarnali19 October 2011 at 15:46

    Pierre Bourdieu had once said-
    "Male domination is so rooted in our collective unconscious that we no longer such see it. It is so in tune with our expectations that it becomes hard to challenge"...I find this statement equally relevant in this case,this thing is so deep rooted in our society that we hardly can identify it anymore,we just move on with it,trying to 'adjust' ourselves to them & not attempting to change the wrongs and injustice. Kudos for this post...Awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  13. beingFab19 October 2011 at 16:40

    @Swarnali I know, though in theory, laws and rules abound, in reality tho minds of those sick people are as sick as ever. Changing the overall mindset is like trying to move a mountain. We need to raise our kids in a more gender sensitive way, that's the only way around this.

    ReplyDelete